Slime Creatures from Outer Space

Atlas Park goes green:

Impending Disaster (and I'm not talking about the bomb):

Thanks a lot, Blue Steel:

Nova Sentry holds Steel Canyon (with some help):

Row in King's Row:

On the edge:

A bad place for the beet boosters to cut out:

Ki Rin Back in Action

Readers may recall the disappearance last year of Interpol's junior commander and token magic hero, Ki Rin. An angry Circle of Thorns coven ambushed her on her way out of Pocket D and, in the ensuing battle, she was knocked through a freak space-time rift into a dark matter dimension from which it was believed she would never return. This weekend, however, she popped up in King's Row with new powers and a particular taste for throwing heavy objects at robed mystics. The only explanation she offered was, "I just had to figure some things out."

After rescuing younger sister Mazzy Stardusk from the Hellions and taking down warehouses full of Council and Arachnos soldiers, Ki Rin followed some Circle of Thorns mystics from their Tuesday night LARP on the rooftop back to their headquarters. There, she learned of a plan to conduct a secret ritual in that most sacred of locations, the vault of the neighborhood bank.

"Yeah, those Circle of Thorns guys are a real piece of work," Ki Rin told reporters. "I mean, who conducts a sinister ritual in a bank? I guess they were just hard up for cash and wanted to try and make it look good. To think, I used to use some of their grimoires! No wonder I was always getting pushed around by Skulls in the old days."

Circle of Thorns High Priest of Greater King's Row, Zarkod Torkmoz said, "Ki Rin is a liar and knows nothing of the true lines of mystic power that cross Paragon City! She's not even a member of a real coven! She's unattractively thin! Soon the Darkness will come for her! I shall have my revenge!" After listening to a whispered comment from his lawyer, Torkmoz added, "I have a trial to attend to! This interview is over!"

Having wrapped up the mystical bank threat and dismantled the altar, Ki Rin left to go and rescue her sister again. "Seems Mazzy just can't resist a guy in a bandanna."

Superheroes on Striga Isle

What seemed to be a violent but mundane raid on a Council base went wild yesterday when a fallen fascist suddenly transformed into a werewolf and the two commandos fought back with previously unrevealed super-powers. Who are these low-key heroes? What's happening on Striga Isle?

Scrap Pile Updates Its Image

Having cleared up the vast Outcast conspiracy to smear the team's image, members of the Scrap Pile set out to improve their public relations in other ways. Captain Scrappy, shown at right in Atlas Park, recruited two new, clean-cut science heroes. Golden Song and Speed Lightning have already made a name for themselves cleaning up the streets of King's Row.

Citrus Shocker, meanwhile, established a strong working relationship with Agent Eckman of Bloody Bay and patrolled the region. Rumors that she only did this to enjoy the seaside view and maybe hook up with an Arachnos Arbiter are, "just mean-spirited" according to the eccentric heroine.

Citrus Shocker also cleaned out the old Rikti bunker in Perez Park to find Hero One's time capsule, a move which earned her some credit with the Atlas Park administrative crew, and developed some flashy new technology including a sparkly laser tracking drone and a compact LCD cloaking device which is "much better than the one they give you in Bloody Bay and not at all derivative of their patented design." When asked if she planned to sell the devices or at least share the design with Longbow, Shocker responded, "Well, they're kind of, um, lightning-powered. I'm not sure there's much market for that."

Finally, Shocker appears to be sporting a new, much flashier costume, as seen in her recent encounter with spectral villains and mages in the sewers of Steel Canyon. Citrus Shocker seemed less than eager to talk about her new look, however. "It's still experimental," she explained. "I'm really not that comfortable with spandex, but it seems to be what everybody's doing these days, and I was tired of hearing from Starbryte that my normal costume looks like something her grandmother would wear. Hey, how about those ghosts, though, huh? I hate ghosts. Good thing Master Imhotep was there."
Master Imhotep, as readers may know, is the leader of the Eye of Horus team, which shares a long-standing coalition with the Scrap Pile. "Tep helps us out with annoying magic stuff a lot. He's like a brother to me."

The more conservative Master Imhotep, looking somewhat uncomfortable, replied, "Yes, my friend the Citrus woman is like a sister who dresses in underwear and speaks blasphemy to scandalize our family."

Finally, the team leaders made a significant move toward updating their long-neglected base, despite Captain Scrappy's position that, "all you really need is a place to watch TV and dump all that junk the criminals drop when you slug 'em." New team member Recycled Man has already begun making plans for the new base.

"He's a little eccentric, but he comes highly recommended," said Citrus Shocker of her new recruit. "His cybernetics are made entirely of post-consumer materials and, as you can see, his brain is enormous."

Scrap Pile Gets Needed Boost.

After the private citizens Dr. Olivia Chung, Petra Chalker, and Cat Hermes unfolded ties to current unfavorable media reports about the Scrap Pile with various members of the Outcasts criminal gangs, it did not take long for Captain Scrappy and Citrus Shocker to take the lead in the following investigations. The Scrap Pile, as you may remember, has been embroiled in scandals involving pictures of them consorting with known criminals, as well some unheroic behavior among its members of late.

Citrus Shocker, the current leader of the Scrap Pile, has tried to maintain her calm during the claims. She has pointed out that not all superheroes in Paragon City get along, so some personal animosity even among crime-fighters. And that many heroes have used assistance from what would be considered evil-doers at various times in their careers. And then she threw herself into breaking the story open.

"If I did anymore investigating," Citrus Shocker stated, "I'd need a badge or medal for taking so much more damage."

"I think someone actually gave me a badge." Capt. Scrappy interjected, with his trademark wide smile. "A couple of them even. I hope they look good with my uniform."

After finding the memos revealing the planned "Anti-Scrap Pile" media smear, Captain Scrappy thanked the private citizens, specifically Olivia Chung, for her help in, "Getting the record straight, dammit."

After an impromptu press ceremony with Dr. Chung, Capt. Scrappy and Citrus Shocker were off once again fighting crime.

Angry Bees working for Longbow and Arachnos?

This just in, older pictures of what appears to the Mistress of the Hive during her supposed tenure in prison working directly with a member of the Longbow Reservists and an Arachnos minion. Leading us here to ask, "Who knew what? And when did they know it?"

Who exactly are all of these black and yellow clad types running around our streets? Many people are wanting to know. The so-called "Angry Bees" are reported to be villains, but are cropping up seen with heroes as well. While there has been verified links with anti-gang activity, various of members of the Hive attacking Skulls and Arachnos soldiers, rumors of bank heists and other illegal activities by suspected members still persists.

Scrap Pile just keeps getting more cluttered up.

Is this the Scrap Pile's Starbryte with the villain known as the Carthagean? Is that a toga he's wearing? What is she wearing exactly? Who knew that she was into older men?

Wilder Cat finally on tape!

After a year of reporting about Wilder Cat's doings, we finally have a picture of the ellusive crime-fighter in action. The Golden Age Society could not be reached for comment.

Beasty Boy on Rampage

Initial reports of a new criminal gang called "Trio" wreaking havoc on Paragon City's Longbow Reservists, have turned out to the work of one man, a true villain at that, the Beasty Boy. For unknown reasons the controversial figure has accepted a commission from the Fraternal Association of Beach Bums Lodges (FABBL, or simply "Fable") of the Rogue Islands to take up for the Infected beach-combing for coins when not surfing along the scenic coasts of Mercy Island against the Longbow Reservists. It has been claimed for some time that the Longbows have boosted their Public Intoxication and Littering tickets, under the pretense of waging the War of Terror against vandal groups reportedly funded by Arachnos, by harassing the Infected who have been squatting along the beaches for years.

Public sentiment of current slew of violence against the self-appointed law-bringers on the island is mixed. The Infected themselves mumble something about being able to kick the habit any time they like. While residents of Mercy City often mention that the Beasty Boy should be doing something about their parking tickets next. Uniformed members of Arachnos, speaking under the condition of anonymity, are just relieved that he has stopped beating them up.

"At least he's taking out his grudge against authority on someone other than us, for once. " States one unnamed Arachnos source.


Members of the super-villain group the Unbeholden, a long time affiliate of the Beasty Boy have been seen with the rogue. When asked about this, former Beasty Boy associate Hanoi Jane answered,

"Our on-going efforts against the construction firms and developers, who are really behind the Longbow do-gooders 'efforts' on our island's (Mercy Island) supposed behalf should not be a surprise to anybody. "
She stated, "Beasty Boy has always been, and will continue to be, an ally in our struggle against the lackey-dogs of the military-industrial complex that Paragon City's so-called 'heroes' represent."

When asked what the heck Hanoi Jane was talking about, Mistress Terrorist in a follow-up phone conversation, said, "Looks like Beasty Boy is spending the Summer at the beach. Hope he has some lotion."

Citrus Shocker Scandal Deepens

Apparently, cozying up to Lord Recluse and Arbiter Sands wasn't enough for the Scrap Pile. Now team leader Citrus Shocker has been accused of serious dereliction of duty by some of her fellow guardians of Paragon City.

Early in the evening of May 2nd, 2007, Citrus Shocker responded to a call for heroes to roust some Circle of Thorns cultists from a hidden temple in the Hollows. As one would expect of a hero, she joined the ad hoc team assembled by Police Drone 774 and joined them at the site. That's where the trouble began.

"I kept radioing her to ask if she could teleport me," said team member Iceman_X_123, "but she never answered. Later, I found out that she never even mentioned it to the other team members. She just stood there, reading her newspaper, while I jogged all the way across the Hollows. My cape was still on fire from Outcast Torch attacks, and she just stood there reading!"

Once in the temple, Shocker's behavior became even more... well... shocking. "She got in some good hits," says MedicHeelrDude. "I'll give her that, but then we all did. It was just an overwhelming horde of mages, guards, and some kind of screaming ghost things."

Police Drone 774 adds, "I took most of the aggro [sic] because I attacked first, but almost all of us went down. Poor TankerBelle will never be the same. As I collapsed on the stone tiles, gasping for help, I saw Citrus Shocker. She was badly hurt, but not down, and she was running for the door. And I'll tell you exactly what she said, because those words are burned into my memory. She looked over her shoulder with this annoyed expression, like she was really put out by our cries for help and said in a weird voice which I can only assume was a bad Eric Cartman impression, 'screw you guys; I'm going home.' That's what she said. And then she was gone."

"I saw her flying past as I came out of the hospital," says scrapper TrinityCatwoman. "I caught up to her and asked her to come back and help us finish the job and all she said was, 'You guys are morons. I don't have time for this.' Like it was all just a game to her. She's so mean."

Citrus Shocker could not be reached for comment, but she was photographed later the same evening, frightening civilians by kicking gang members below the belt in King's Row.

Citrus Shocker at the Big Party

I don't even know where to start. So many screenshots.

Gotta point out this one, though. It's not every day you get to dance with Lord Recluse:

Poster Children Cleared of Arson Charges

Despite the fact that they were filmed dashing out of a burning building moments after it exploded, Laggy and Peryton, leaders of the new super-group known as the Poster Children, have been cleared of arson charges. "It was clearly a set-up," explains Captain Victor Broyko of the Atlas Park Arson and Mad Science Squad. "Liberace and a number of his fellow Vahzilok reapers were seen nearby, snickering and bragging."
"All I know," adds Laggy, "is that things were under control when I left the building. Then Peryton starts screeching in my radio like some kind of harpy about disarming the bombs, even though I already disarmed a bomb. It's not like I could just go back in there. There were vandals outside! I had to stop the vandals, you know."

Peryton responded, "You disarmed one bomb! There were six more in the room, and a whole other squad of zombies came in after you left! Broyko, tell him!"

Captain Broyko declined to comment on the exact details of the incident. "All I'm saying is that they didn't cause the fire. Not on purpose, anyway. And they did stop a bank robbery."

"And vandals!" interjected Laggy. "We stopped a whole slew of undead vandals!"

NEW THREAT LOOMING!

(Excerpt from the William O' Flatulent Nough-Spin Zone show on Fox News-oid network).

Bill-O: ...While everyone else is worried about their hair and whatnot, there is a quite threat starting to crop up in our streets. First it was the Crips and Bloods, then it was the Arachnos, and now it's the Angry Bees. This group of whackoh, liberal media-driven villains are gaining ground in our fair city, while all the Hollyweird stars of the Scrap Pile or the Eye of Horus just sit around with Susan Crow and grip about the war and the environment...Something has to be done about this.

(An exclusive RogueParagon response from the only known Angry Bee "hive" member to speak publically)

"What the hell did he say?" The Deviant Bee, "I support our troops, dammit!"

Scrap Pile Going Rogue?

A photograph recently released to the media by anonymous sources has called into question the loyalty of the technically-minded so-called hero team, Scrap Pile. The picture clearly shows team founder Captain Scrappy and up-and-comer Starbryte standing alongside Arbiter Sands of the Arachnos cult in an abandoned office building.
When confronted, Captain Scrappy's response was, "How could I go bad when I look so good?" while Starbryte asked if it was inappropriate for her to wear her mask when everyone else was just wearing sunglasses.

Current team leader Citrus Shocker, in a follow-up call she initiated herself, added, "Look, it's well known that Arbiter Sands sometimes helps out heroes on perfectly legitimate missions for reasons of his own, and it's well known Scrappy loves to have his picture taken. Obviously nobody here was too worried about being photographed. It's not exactly grainy security film, and look, they're posing. Sands isn't even wearing his helmet. In fact- hey, wait a minute! Are those my old glasses? STARBRYTE!"

Although known for generously helping Santa Claus recover from a brutal mugging in King's Row, the Scrap Pile has been seen working with villains before, as recently as this past Valentine's Day, allegedly because it was the only way to help the enigmatic DJ Zero of Pocket D protect his other-dimensional portal system from roaming gnomes.

Samedi Sam Cleans Up Rough Image...

MYTHOS hero Samedi Sam while trying to run for ward council in King's Row, in Paragon City, dropped his street-wise Skull gang member look to don a shirt and tie outfit, though he kept the skull mask to hide his identity. In the course of the election, his support plummeted as pictures of him and his uber-gothic girlfriend Zombira, raking things up back in their early days were publicly posted through unknown sources.
Sam took the lack of enthusiasm in the neighborhood in stride,

"It's a sign that my path doesn't lie in politics it seems." He said. "Cthulhu Boy told me there's be days like this. I have a good soul and set backs don't make me angry...I think that's step three on the plan...err...um..."

Zombira has not been reached for comment.

Showing the charm and character that we all expect from Samedi Sam these days, he closed the interview by smiling brightly and pointed to his new outfit.

"But check out these duds!"

New Enigmas Defend Paragon

Three heretofore unnoticed heroes made a name for themselves during a big bank heist and Vahzilok vandal fest in Atlas Park yesterday. Mantis Whisper and the uncanny Super Coit not only stopped most of the destruction, but prevented the escape of the infamous Bloodthorn from jail.

Unfortunately, a small band of mad scientists, zombies, and confused gang-bangers escaped to King's Row and started causing trouble there. While Super Coit remained in Atlas Park to stabilize the situation there, Mantis Whisper pursued the escapees to Kings Row where, with the help of Szolar, she finished the job.

Fire of Saturn

Barely fifteen minutes into the formation of The Bad, the Ugly, and the Mutagenic, new wretches and schemers were already pounding at the door of the team's one-room hideout.

Fresh from being thrown off the parapets of Fort Darwin by an outraged Kalinda and her guards, the neophyte villain Fire of Saturn crawled out of the sea and put in an application of her own.

The technology-based fire and ice wielder hails originally from the wealthy Steel Canyon district in Paragon City, where she worked in research and development while dreaming of getting rich off her own creations. And finally, thanks to some inventions that she definitely didn't cannibalize from an alien she ran over in the country one night, and some components that she definitely didn't steal from Crey, she was about to do it. And for some reason, the bastards arrested her and locked her up with all kinds of scum and villainy.

Luckily, there was a big row at the prison and she had the opportunity to put her hard-earned skills to use by cobbling together components from scragged police drones, confiscated villain equipment, and a handful of paper clips to make an arsenal of elemental weapons for herself. Fire of Saturn doesn't know what's going to happen next, but she's pretty sure it won't be her fault.

Irma Embraces Evil

Irma Greasirelli's friends kept telling her that her husband was up to no good, but she didn't believe them. Sure, he had his "associates" following her around all the time, but that's just because he cares. Sure, he talked her into letting a "friend" at the laboratory experiment on her and she ended up with some kind of dinosaur head, but accidents happen. Sure, he performed some kind of ritual in the house one night and she woke up the next morning transformed into an undead abomination, but hey, he's new at this stuff. Irma trusted her husband, even when she had to take the fall for one of his botched capers and ended up in prison. Even when Arachnos and the 10th Street Mob busted her out and involved her in more questionable activities.

But not anymore. After spending an entire day slogging through sewage and snake skins, Irma, now known as the Zombie Lizard Moll, decided that it was time to strike back. Together with her new friends, Firetemple and the Partying Animal, she formed The Bad, the Ugly, and the Mutagenic, a truly monstrous new super-villain association, and turned her back on her husband and his Sicilian friends for good.

Luckily, the two hoods her husband had following her around, a nice man and a very clever boy, agreed to stick with her and help her out in her new enterprise. Even an undead lizard needs a little backup now and then.

Hanoi Jane Unbeholden once again.

On an occasion marked with Holiday gifts exchanged and a bit of shopping, Hanoi Jane and Mistress Terrorist patched their fences and rekindled their longstanding friendship with some snowman mugging. After rumors of a sex scandal involving Beasty Boy and Hanoi Jane's...err...um side-kick, Moon Bat and a third party, Jane decided it was time to quit her and Moonbat's joint venture The Elite Left and return to her roots, which happens to be the villainous super-group the Unbeholden. When asked about the rumors, Mistress Terrorist spoke up to answer for her friend who looked a little flustered.

"The Beasty Boy is in our hearts and minds at all times, as he has been our mentor and cohort in criminal behavior." Miss Terror said calmly. "But with the name of 'Beasty Boy,' you have to expect some trouble every now and then.

Happy Holidays